Lately, I have had a horrible attitude about life. I have been asking myself what is the purpose of what I’m doing with my life? Am I doing God’s will? Why do I feel like what I’m doing is worthless? I have even been having thoughts go through my head about God not caring about what I want to do with my life. Why has He not answered my prayers about what I want? How dare He not give me the resources and the ability to do the things I want to do?
Aside from this blog, I have a journal that I write more personal things in. You know, things I don’t want to share with all 10 of you who actually read my blog! I was reading a past entry in my journal and noticed a recurring theme. The words “I” and “me” were written a lot. I have become so selfish about what I want in life that I have completely underestimated God. I know from the bottom of my heart that God has a plan for my life – one that will fulfill HIS purpose, not mine. The devil is trying to cloud my mind with other thoughts and unfortunately, I’ve let him.
There is a very special lady who I work with and she knows my situation. She basically told me that I need to stop worrying about Mary Beth and what she wants and instead focus on what and where God has me right now. If He can’t trust me with the “little” things, then how can He trust me with something bigger and better? THAT, my friends, is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m so thankful to have someone in my life to come out and tell me the hard stuff that I really don’t want to hear. It’s hard enough for me to notice how selfish I have been, but having someone else notice it AND point it out to you is even harder!
Today is a new day – a day in which I will live my life for Him no matter what he has called me to do AND I will succeed.
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24